Picture yourself in a field of lavender.
For many, this induces a feeling of calm. The serenity of nature, the soothing aromas of flowering plants, the sounds of birds singing.
So how could this peaceful place provide a lesson in nonjudgment?
On a recent trip to visit lavender fields in peak bloom, I experienced that very lesson.
Nonjudgment
To clarify the concept of nonjudgment, there are several key nuances:
the mind is designed to evaluate and categorize experiences, and does so often without conscious thought
judgments can be positive, negative or neutral
the practice is simply to notice “judging” thoughts as they naturally arise, not to change them
as we become aware of the steady stream of judging thoughts, we create the space to more skillfully respond rather than automatically react to them
The day began with a sunny drive with my sister and niece into the foothills of the Pocono Mountains. As we drove up the long drive to the lavender farm, we noted that there were only a few small fields of lavender plants (judgment). Our expectation had been for something larger.
After walking around and eating some delicious honey lavender ice cream (judgment), we returned to the car – which would not start.
Still calm after the peaceful day, we called AAA for roadside assistance and waited for the arrival of a tow truck.
As 60 minutes of waiting stretched into 75, we began to have all kinds of thoughts about the delay (judgments). I chose to take a walk and explore the beautiful surroundings.
When the tow truck driver came and gave us bad news about next steps, our nervous systems responded (judgments galore!). I felt a stress reaction to being stuck, combined with a sense of “h-anger” arising (low blood sugar from hunger triggering an anger response).
An Uber came and transported my niece and me to a restaurant for lunch while we awaited a ride home. We sat on a pleasant patio, fed our "h-anger", and laughed about the day (judgments).
As we walk along this journey of life, we are inevitably presented with wanted and unwanted experiences. Our responses to them impact our personal wellbeing as well as our relationships with others.
Becoming aware of the thoughts that arise with these experiences, and choosing how they impact our response, is at the heart of the practice of nonjudgment.
Let your wisdom lead,
Robin
Learn more about more Nonjudgment and the 9 Attitudes of Mindfulness here.
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